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Screw you Mr.Diet !

          Yesterday at midnight, suddenly I was 'completely' enlightened about the fact that if I still look like a couch potato, then I won't be able to "karect" anyone. So I decided to be in diet. I started my breakfast well with a bowl of oats.

          The day was bright, the sky was clear with a cool breeze which made my mom to think about going to HSB for lunch. But I'm in diet man ! So I decided to eat only two idlys. To execute what I thought, I ordered for a plate of Panipuris and a plate of Channa Samosa.

          After eating I suddenly realised that I had violated the absolutely clear criteria of self-control when one is in diet. So I thought I deserve a penalisation, i.e. a brisk walk to Alwarpet. And I did it ! For the first time in my life I consciously respected and accepted the punishment and did what I must do. So I thought I deserve a treat.

          So on the way home I had a Veg. Frankie and chocolate milkshake. When I entered home with a burp my mom had succesfully killed five honey bee pricks that stormed into the kitchen. So she thought she deserve a treat. And so we went to A2B for dinner. She told me to have whatever I want to.

          "Now this is generosity and love", I thought. I ordered for channa batura and Kesar Basundhi (a sweet which, if had often, make our body grow more in X and Z axes). When I was about to experience the moment of first bite, again I was suddenly reminded of diet (arrrgh, Goddammit !!). I was just keeping the aromatic channa batura near my mouth for two minutes, thinking what to do now.

          At that time, my heart thought(?) (Yes, it should think in Tamil Nadu), "O Vishnu ! Didn't you see your mom's face that brightened with happiness when she saw you watching your channa batura with saliva dripping down from your mouth ? Think my friend, think twice, and don't waste time by thinking for the third time; eat. அம்.....மா என்றழைக்கா....த உயிர் இல்லையே.......".

          Then my conscious mind thought, "Vishnu, this thought should've come before you ordered. So now rejecting this chola puri would make your mom feel bad. So saapdu".

        Finally my sub-conscious mind thought, "மாமே!! சும்மா நடிக்காத. இன்னாடா பாத்துட்ருக்க ? ஒரு வெட்டு வெட்றா. கரெக்ட் பண்றதையெல்லாம் அப்பறம் பாத்துக்கலாம். இன்னாடா, கம்னு கீறே ? உனக்கு ஃபிகர் முக்கியமா கொண்டக்கடல முக்கியமா ?".

          I shook my head thrice, came to a decision, and started stuffing the channa Batura in my mouth. Never mind, I have loads of time after eating, to worry about me losing self-control again.



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