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Vishnu's new book is on sale! 100% discount for four days [Free until 22nd oct, 2018 morning]. புதியவன் வாசிக்கப்படக் காத்திருக்கிறான். இந்த வார விடுமுறையை ஒட்டி [வெள்ளி, சனி, ஞாயிறு, திங்கள் காலை] நான்கு நாட்கள் என் புத்தகத்தின் மின்பதிப்பு அமேசானில் இலவசமாகக் கிடைக்கும்.

The Bus Treat - Prologue

What a Ragging Sir ji ! - Session 6:

3rd October, 2011


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"Hmmm, seri ok, bye then", she said.
"Yeah, bye. See you tomorrow"

          And I started walking towards my home. "Hmmm, sweet voice. Can go places ! Oh my God have to go and pay a visit to the restaurent, EG work, FOC UT, tomorrow chemistry lab, have to finish 'Estimation of Chloride', lot to do", I thought as I walked. But chemistry lab didn't function the next day, infact, the whole first year classes, for a reason...

          I came home happily, eagerly expecting a happy, memorable, cheerful "Bus Treat" the next day. The next day came......

P.S: "The Bus Treat", a parallel series to "What a Ragging Sir ji !", coming soon...

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The Bus Treat - Prologue



2nd September, 2011


          My Cousin Charanya Kannan's wedding. In the afternoon, after a heavy lunch, I decided to troll kutti kids, as most of us do if we are exceptionally vetti, to show that we too are involved in something. So, oru paiyan-ah target pannen."Dai thambi, inga vaappa, halo unnadhaan, dei !!". He just passed by without even considering me. Ahem ahem ! :-P First attempt-ae failure.

          To hide my poker face I took my mobile out and started staring at it pointlessly. The battery was too low. My Imported-From-Dubai Nokia N73 had the heart of the wisest monk in the world who would say, 'treat everything equally'. Yes, whether you play a game in it or hear some 007 soundtrack or simply throw it on your bed, it just makes sure that the battery drains off after 5 hours. To say technically, it had an ultrasonic crystal timer that contained a harmonic oscillator which decides every five hours that five hours is more than enough for this soapbox to live. In short, that phone was just... Well, does it deserve any more explanations ?

          Yes, it actually deserve ! "ooooyyyy !", the angry white bird flew as my mobile received a text message. My ragging mate...

"Vishnu call me soon please ! I can't resist telling this to you anymore, no balance. Call !"
I couldn't react immediately to this. Oh my God, oh.my.god ! Ennavaa irukkum ? My heart started beating faster. "I can't resist !", apdinaa ? wow wow wow wow...
I called her immediately.

"Hello ?"
"Dei enda college-ku 2 days ah varala ?", oru hello kooda sollala.
"Illa marriage la irukken..."
"Ennadhu ????? Marriage ah ????"
"Hayyo ! Sema comedy po !", I kalaaichified.
"Shabba !", She gave out her trademark term. "Hey unkitta onnu sollanum da"
"Yeah sollu pa enna matter ?"
"I didn't want to distract you from your other works, adhaan, idha munnaadiye sollala. But couldn't...couldn't... just couldn't manage things without you...You know...Hmmm..."
My heart beat shot up to the extreme.
"Err, adha epdi solradhu, edho puriyaadha maadhiri oru feeling...Un absence la ennaala ozhunga yosikka kooda mudiyala"
"Annaaaa !", Vijith called from the dais.
"Kanna iruda dei ! Oru nimisham da !"
"Hmmm...", she seemed to be playing with all kinds of non-lexical fillers.
"Enna matter pa ? Chumma sollu"
"Adhu..."
"Onnu pannu, matter-ah sollittu takkunu phone-ah vechiru", idea-laam kuduthen.
"Illa solradhu prachnai illa...Hmmm, tonight fb chat vaa. Neraya pesanum...I..."
"Ya tell", I said as if I was super cool."I ?"
"I..."
"I... ?", I couldn't resist.
"I... seri naan apram solren. Ore tension ah irukku, epdi solradhu nu theriyala"
"Hello ??"
"Apram solren"
"Hello ??"
"Hello !!", damn ! the battery drained out.

"Arrrghhh !", I felt like bombing nuclear weapons all over Dubai. Dei Dubai ! Dei Porambok ! Dei imported pachapp...

          I ran here and there around the mandapam in search of an N73 charger, asked almost everyone. Uhum, Correct-ah my N73 charger port was unique from other Nokia phones. Indha Nokia pasanga irukaangale... Seeing me run like a devil, two kids started trolling me.
"Yaaru modhalla ivana pidhikkaradhu nu race veppomaa ?"
"Dei kitta vandheenga konnuduven !"

          Enna solla vandhuruppa iva ? Enna matter ah irukkum ? While searching for the charger, my mind just couldn't be stable at all. It jumped to all sorts of possibilities. And when one blissful possibility was about to strike my mind and give me a mini heart attack...
"Dei anna !",Vijith called me again.
"Anga ennadaa panra ? Amma koopadraa"
"Idho vandhutten da", I stopped. "Two minutes da Kanna"
"Illa illa ippave varanum !"
"Just one, one minute da kanna", I tried to konjify him. "Kannaa en Nokia charger enga irukku nu theriyumaa da ? En chellam la"
"Un pocket la dhaan da irukku"
"What ?", I searched in my pock... Yeah ! "Thala, epdi thala ! Mass !", I showed a thumbs up at him.
"Neeyellaam IAS aagi...", he started.
"Dai dai ! Iru unnoda apram deal pannikaren", now I searched for plug points. After a five minute search, thankfully I saw a point available inside the bride's room. I plugged in the phone and relaxed for a while.

          By that time, SSN had thought me so many things. I was probably the fresher who had maximum number of senior contacts. From day one, I learnt something everyday from those brothers and sisters. But we can't just casually introduce ourselves to them right ? Ragging served that purpose (I would've told many things already). Whenever I drove trains around the canteen, or whenever I proposed a girl near the admin block fountain, or whenever I performed pole dance(without a pole !), or whenever I played cricket without a bat and a ball, without our knowlege myself and the seniors were becoming closer and closer. And these usual raggings in the bus, that was more of fun you know. Being a star performer and getting bangams before the girls isn't that easy. The bus seniors became more than just seniors, they became something more, something more like a good friend.

          Charanya Kannan was an Ex-SSN-ite, and she was my role model for a while at that time. She's the main reason for me to be here, to get all these raggings, to propose all these girls, to get a mini semi-circle of life-long friends... Her last minute guidance was like a bible to me. Thanks to chaos theory as usual :-P

          Where was I ? Yeah, meanwhile the phone was charging and I was again thinking on what she was about to tell me. And when the phone was charged enough to hold for 15 minutes, I plugged it out, called her, and correct-ah at that time that blissful possibility struck my mind and gave me a sudden heart thump, and I suddenly felt my legs were like flying above, and at that time correct-ah she picked up the phone, and...

"Hey, I too ! I too !", I screamed loudly.
"What you too ?", she asked in an inexplicable tone.
"Illa edho I-nu solla vandhiye ?"
"Ah yeah, ippo bus-la dhaan irukkom. Adhaavadhu, I want you to speak to our ********* anna immediately !"
"Eh ? o_O", I felt something fishy. "Why ? Edhukku ?"
"Edho bus treat-aam. Naama veckanumaam. Indha maasamaam. Ennamo solraanga da enakku onnum puriyala. Couldn't manage things without you ! Ore tension ah irukku"
"Oh... okay... seri okay...hehe... ivlodhaanaa ?", my voice went down. I didn't expect anything great though. My sub-conscious doesn't want to either. Ellaam indha conscious panna vela :-P All those probabilities took the value of zero and disappeared from my mind.
"Sei naan pesaren anna kitta", I told calmly.
"Adhu irukattum, edho I too-nu solla vandhiye ?", she suddenly asked.
"Adhu vaa, err, I too, I too just can't manage things without you, assist me in whatever shit thats gonna happen, ok ?"
"Shabba..."

          I disconnected. I didn't know at what good time I said those words. Hell yeah ! Shit really happened, and this time it went crazier than ever...

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